COPING WITH ANGER

Tom threw his glass against the wall and shattered it. Susan got sarcastic and flippant. Cheryl sat there smugly and insisted everything was Just fine. Hark sat silently and fumed.

All of these people are experiencing a perfectly natural human emotion: anger. Everyone experiences it from time to time, but what we each do with our anger can vary considerably.

Anger is probably the most poorly handled emotion in our society today. Many of us try to deny that we ever feel angry. Others take their anger out unfairly on others. When anger is uncontrollably expressed, it can lead to the physical abuse of others including, homicide, rape, or child abuse. But the regular expression of anger by a person can also hurt him or her by causing physical problems.

Physiologically, the body gives us signals when we are angry: our level of adrenaline increases, our blood pressure rises, the heart beats faster and our muscles tense up.

Consequently, the failure to recognize and deal with our anger can lead to serious health problems including high blood pressure, heart problems, headaches, skin disorders and stomach problems.

Some experts believe that repressed or unexpressed anger is a primary cause of anxiety. It can disrupt relationships, especially if the angry person becomes sarcastic, critical or acts in a manner intended to hurt the other person rather than dealing with the anger directly.

Since the common antecedents of anger such as frustration, annoyance, harassment, and disappointment are inevitable in our lives, It is important that we learn how to manage our anger to protect our health and constructively solve our problems.

The first step in managing anger is learning to recognize it. If we can admit to our feelings before they begin to build up, it's usually easier to decide how to handle them appropriately.

Pay attention to signs of unexpressed anger-sarcasm, muscle tension, feelings of frustration or disappointment and accident-proneness.

Secondly, try to identify why you're angry and at whom. Sometimes we take our anger out on others when we're angry with ourselves. Or, we might pick a fight with our boyfriend/girlfriend when we're really mad about an earlier fight with our parents.

Finally, after recognizing and understanding your anger it's important to think through the situation and decide what to do. A direct expression of anger is not always the best option. Experts no longer believe that the mere expression of angry feelings is helpful. Rather, it's important to try to resolve the situation that caused the anger in the first place.

If you find that you have trouble communicating your anger constructively or if you get angry too often or too easily, talk to a friend or a professional. Sometimes our anger is very deep seated and we can't resolve it without some help.

Remember that anger is a natural human emotion. It's not something to be ashamed of, but it is something we must learn to manage effectively.